(Note to literalists: the Watched column presently contains only a smattering of 'warblogs' because the facilitator of the template-change--Dr. Menlo--is not very familiar with them, and will be adding more as they are sent to him. Also, this blog may contain areas of allusion, satire, subtext, context and possibly even a dash of the surreal: wannabe lit-crits beware.)
Control
[Watch this space for: Pentagon and Petroleum, The Media is only as Liberal as the Corporations Who Own Them, Wash Down With, and Recalcify]
WARBLOGGER WATCH
Saturday, June 01, 2002
Two days back, I concluded from extensive reading in the James Lileks archives that the man was profoundly disturbed and prone to violence (well, so long as someone else did the fighting and stood to be hit or shot in exchange). In reporting my findings, I noted that Lileks had derogated Russian males for their habit of hugging one another. What kind of name, I wondered at the time, was Lileks? It ends with an s, perhaps making it Lithuanian or Latvian - which would explain the man's hostility to the Russians as well as his amply demonstrated authoritarianism.
Searches at several Mormon and non-Mormon genealogy sites proved as worthless as Lileks himself. The earliest record of a Lileks was of Vernon Alvin Lileks, who, as his parentage and place of birth are unrecorded, was spontaneously generated in parts unknown on January 26, 1920. This early Lileks was recalled by the Almighty in 1985, luckily sparing him James Lileks first outing, filed 68 years nearly to the day after the First Lileks emerged from beneath a stone.
The above sites of little use, I had to go elsewhere. I entered Lileks's surname into a form on a page maintained by one Lore Sjoberg, and was returned information that substantiated my opinion of the Minnesota ghoul while simultaneously explaining the impossibility of tracing the his ancestry. Lileks, you see, is inhuman. Yes, I hear you say, we knew that already, having read his cries for blood, blood and more blood. Mr. Sjoberg indicates that this is a different type of inhumanity. Lileks is actually neither human nor animal. He is a workshop construction, specifically a Lifelike Intelligent Lifeform Engineered for Killing and Sabotage. The man is a droid, which, absent the yet-to-be-perfected neural net processor, explains both his inability to learn from error (and fuck me if he doesn't make a lot of them) and his wholesale lack of remorse for those who would endure the bombs he promotes with mechanical regularity and impossible vigor.
