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[Watch this space for: Pentagon and Petroleum, The Media is only as Liberal as the Corporations Who Own Them, Wash Down With, and Recalcify]


Friday, July 19, 2002


In my none-too-frequent postings here, I've tried not to criticize, or even mention, Pejman Yousefzadeh. On his site, in his comments on other sites, in his responses to articles on this site, he has always struck me as one who is desperate for attention, any attention, practically begging for attacks on himself so he could then defend himself. So I always figured it was more effective, and funnier, to just ignore him and let him keep pleading for attention. But an entry he made on Tuesday July 16 sickened me so that I had to break my own embargo.

Yousefzadeh wrote that in his musings section he discovered a comment from James Lileks. Yousefzadeh's response? "Holy poo," in bold no less, continuing, "It's sort of like being the recipient of a drop-by visit from Superman, and finding out that the Justice League is actually paying attention to your lesser heroics. Wow. Excellency, be sure to visit more often. And you know, if you want to permalink my site, I really wouldn't have any objections . . ." Disgusting.

And what was the comment from Lileks that prompted Yousefzadeh's shocking display of sycophancy? Lileks wrote:

"Anyone know what blogger runs on? Just curious. As someone who spends hours in both OSes, I'd put a knitting needle in my left eyeball before I gave up my Mac."

Granted, this is one of the most cogent statements Lileks has ever crafted. But Yousefzadeh's reaction is nonetheless a disgrace. "Superman"? "Excellency"? Jesus dude, why don't you just fly up to Minnesota and suck the guy off in person?

If you're going to pick an idol, Pejman, at least pick someone with talent. Lileks deals in a strange admixture of the saccharine ("Gnat [his 'cute' nickname for his daughter] is in bed now, sleeping soundly, dreaming of the puppy and the bugs and Elmo, who is always happy to see her and tells her he loves her. Maybe in her dreams she plays with her shadow. It's her new friend, her new fascination, this strange dark companion who appears on the brightest of days. She waves, and it waves back. It goes where she goes. It will never leave her as long as there is a sun in the sky," 3/28/02) with anti-Arab tirades shading into violence ("If someone convinced my daughter to blow herself up in a restaurant, and one of Saddam's men came around later with a check to buy us off, I would return it. And by "return" I mean I would kick his body over until his face is in the dirt and shove the check in the hole in the back of his head," 4/9/02). Furthermore, no subject is too mundane, too trivial, for Lileks to comment on. The weather? Email problems? Cereal? Target? No subject is too routine for his moist musings.

And most anything can set him off on one of his "Weren't the olden days wonderful?" bleats, best represented by his collection of nostalgic old crap. Lileks makes the execrable Bob Greene look like Raymond Chandler.

Yousefzadeh should be informed that there are plenty of columnists in the world to emulate and admire -- hell, there are numerous Minnesotans more worthy of respect as well. (Unfortunately, this list is missing one or two, although it got the most important.) But I doubt he will. Pejman will keep ingesting the treacle mixed with bile, and keep his lips firmly planted on the ass of his "Excellency".

At least until a position opens up around front.

• • • • •

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