(Note to literalists: the Watched column presently contains only a smattering of 'warblogs' because the facilitator of the template-change--Dr. Menlo--is not very familiar with them, and will be adding more as they are sent to him. Also, this blog may contain areas of allusion, satire, subtext, context and possibly even a dash of the surreal: wannabe lit-crits beware.)
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[Watch this space for: Pentagon and Petroleum, The Media is only as Liberal as the Corporations Who Own Them, Wash Down With, and Recalcify]
WARBLOGGER WATCH
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
The Columbia School of Journalism's Online Journalism Award nominees have been nominated, and all I can say is that they are a travesty. The nominees include not one single blogger. Apparently the dimwits at Columbia missed all the stories about how blogging has revolutionized journalism. The fact that this premise is mainly supported by bloggers themselves is neither here nor there. (Of COURSE, actual working journalists would say that blogging is not journalism, but they are simply jealous that they, having to actually do research, spell their stories correctly, and employ measures of 'responsibility,' are not free to spew and vent the way that bloggers are. Jealous bastards!) Nonetheless, the snooty bigwigs at Columbia (oh how they make me sick with their high standards) could have at least included some of our best bloggers among the nominees for Online Commentary! Yet not a one! No Lileks! No Asparagirl! NO GANZ??!!!?
In an attempt to rectify this glaring omission, here are what the nominees for best Online Commentary might look like if there was any justice in the world. I encourage my fellow Watchers to nominate their own.
8. Online Commentary
This category honors a body of work by a single writer for commentary original to the Web, although neither the commentary itself nor the thought behind it need be original. (Print syndication after Web posting does not disqualify an entry; however, it is not likely going to happen for most of these individuals. Ever.) Topics can range from news commentary to pointless overemotional essays, blind criticism, uninformed opinion, and what they and they alone might consider humor. The writer should employ a screeching high-pitched voice, staleness of insight, and clear writing (in that the font is readable. Accuracy in spelling, grammar and thought are of course optional). Creative use of the medium will be considered, but not expected. Unlike the other categories, which are split into affiliated and independent awards, there is only one award in this category, which is still one too many.
Nominees, in alphabetical order:
Sasha Castel, “I Am Just So Proud to Pose With a 40 Year Old Liar Who Advocates Terrorism!”
James Lileks, “I Call My Little Daughter ‘Gnat.’ She Is Cute and I Wuv Her. Also, Kill The Arabs.” (Multiple entries)
Justin “Since we couldn’t pick up weapons and physically pound all those radical Islamic scumbags into dust [Why couldn’t you?-ed.], we had to settle for more civilized ways to contribute [i.e., urging others to pick up weapons and physically pound all those radical Islamic scumbags into dust-ed.]?” Sodano, “Good Riddance, Effective Immediately”
Pejman Yousefzadeh, "Here Is A Great Story That Makes 'The Press' Look Bad! Oh, Wait, James Taranto Pointed Out That It Didn't Really Happen? Well, It Must Be Because Taranto Read A Link In My Comments Section, Not Because the Story Was First Debunked in 1999! Who Has Even Heard Of Snopes? It Must Be My Page! Finally, The Popularity That Has Avoided Me All My Life Is Mine! Even Taranto [Who actually IS nominated for an Online Journalism Award-ed.] Reads My Site, How Else Could He Have Known It Was A Fake Story! I Even Got A Note From Lileks The Almighty Once! Oh Poo!"
