The Watched


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The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler


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". . . a monumental disappointment."
- Pejman Yousefzadeh

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- Weekend Pundit

". . . misguided passivists."
- Craig Schamp

". . . shares Ted Rall's fantasies of oppression."
- Max Powers

". . . pathetic waste of pixels."
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- DC Thornton

". . . a good read, apart from the odd witchhunt."
- Emmanuel Goldstein

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- Richard Bennett


"There's many a boy here today who looks on war as all glory, but, boys, it is all hell." -- General William T. Sherman, Address, 1880



Keep Laughing

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White House



(Note to literalists: the Watched column presently contains only a smattering of 'warblogs' because the facilitator of the template-change--Dr. Menlo--is not very familiar with them, and will be adding more as they are sent to him. Also, this blog may contain areas of allusion, satire, subtext, context and possibly even a dash of the surreal: wannabe lit-crits beware.)


Control


[Watch this space for: Pentagon and Petroleum, The Media is only as Liberal as the Corporations Who Own Them, Wash Down With, and Recalcify]


WARBLOGGER WATCH


Friday, January 31, 2003

 

How would you headline today's meeting between Bush & Blair?



Me: BUSH WALKS THE DOG



Or, BUSH WALKS THE POODLE



Blair's tongue darts out, his eyes like saucers with excitation; meanwhile Bush swaggers around the room doing his John Wayne impression . . . he tosses a letter opener onto the carpet and Blair bounces over to it immediately, takes it into his slobbering mouth and brings it over to Bush on hands and knees.



Door opens: the servant is here with a silver platter of beer and pretzels. Bush swaggers over to the couch, sits down, turns on football and Blair curls up at his feet, preparing for sleep. What a day! Tired doggie, but good doggie.


• • • • •


Monday, January 27, 2003

 

G. Harlan Reynolds, Avatar of Idiocy, refuses to let anything like, say, the absence of substantiation prevent him from repeating the claim "that even leftie Jews are being frozen out of A.N.S.W.E.R. - organized marches if they believe that Israel has a right to exist."

That A.N.S.W.E.R.'s claim on the anti-war movement amounts to little more than having secured permits and chartered buses has been acknowledged by even the likes of M. Kaus, who likewise acknowledged that any mass movement is very much a mixed bag. This being the warbloggergarten, GHR and friends such flee facts and indulge in collective fantasy. An objectionable photo of anti-Semites marching in Davos is proof positive that the stateside anti-war movement is at base hostile to Jews. Okay, Glenn.

I have no idea how accurate the charge of leftie Jews being "frozen out" are. I defer to them on this point. I would however like some proof to substantiate the extraordinary claim that the anti-war movement as such (the equivalent of A.N.S.W.E.R., as Glenn, Andrew, and the lesser luminaries have been claiming) is hostile to the existence of Israel.

• • • • •


Sunday, January 26, 2003

 

Unelected President G.W. Bush is proving himself computer conversant. Below is his initial foray into the world of 419 Fraud. A warblog is no doubt in the works:
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH 202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111 FAX: 202.456.2461

DEAR SIR / MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,

GEORGE WALKER BUSH

Switchboard: 202.456.1414 Comments: 202.456.1111 Fax: 202.456.2461 Email: president@whitehouse.gov
Via Indymedia, Madison.

• • • • •


Thursday, January 23, 2003

 

Arch idiotarian G. Harlan Reynolds, who by virtue of his position should be expected to know something of history and/or logic, continues to discard good sense. He links this evening to one of his fawning sweathogs engaged in the common project of discrediting all opposition to unelected president Bush's war against Iraq. Providing compelling arguments for such a war is obviously too great a task, so the lesser minds are accusing a dissenting France of "cuddl[ing] dictators."

As the conservatoids have been saying for decades, public education as a project is dreadful and discredited. They've hitherto mined the victim pool for support of that assertion. GHR is himself more credible substantiation.

• • • • •


Thursday, January 16, 2003

 

George W. Bush's 2003 State of the Union address: a rare moment of honesty.

• • • • •

 

Hey Warbloggers!--dead species that you are--How's about a new 'idiotarian' for ya?:



"Escalate non-violence." --MLK


As Brad reminded us below, today is Martin Luther King's birthday.


Also today: President-Select Bush announced that his administration would lend some legal aid to the fight against the affirmative action policies of the University of Michigan. He added, "And if we had never had affirmative action in the first place, we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years, neitha . . . "

Well, he didn't actually say that, but the Trent Lott connection should be clear, right? This is, after all, the party of racists . . . What is that called, "the Southern Solution?" Whereby Republican power is culled by courting the bigotry-friendly American southern states? Oh hey now, and don't forget the re-nomination of Judge Pickering--who fights for the little man, as long as the little man is burning a cross on the lawn of the nigra and his honky ho.

And they do both of these things right after the whole Trent Lott fiasco?

Aw man, they're just throwing it at you.

And to do it on Martin Luther King's birthday?

That's just a little extra something for you,




the taxpayer


the citizen


the slave



• • • • •


Wednesday, January 15, 2003

 

Happy birthday Dr. King!

• • • • •


Sunday, January 12, 2003

 

Kaus, battered and fried:

Mickey Kaus, the "liberal" journalist - not sure which word to put the [sic] after there - just can't let an argument end, especially when he's not advancing same and plainly bringing himself into disrepute. Read his January 6 "In DeLong's Run," and then read Brad DeLong's response to Kaus' "embarrassing" defense of economic adviser Glenn Hubbard. A choice bit:
Kaus: Berkeley Professors do lie. Maybe this professor is lying. How can we tell? We need to be skeptical. DeLong: Fourth edition. Page 661. There are libraries. There is Amazon. There is fact-checking.
Of course, even the worst journalists would submit a piece suggesting dishonesty re: an easily verifiable matter to a perfunctory fact check. That Kaus didn't bother speaks volumes.

• • • • •

 

Glenn Harlan Reynolds, faithful to his "instapundit" schtick, relayed news of the weapons find at Charles de Gaulle airport mere hours after the news of the find was reported by the BBC. He headlined his post, "THIS KEEPS HAPPENING," a none too subtle insinuation betrayed by the employ of ellipses and The Professor's determination to report the ethnicity of persons arrested elsewhere for unrelated offenses. He then advised all to "Keep [their] eye on this."

GHR followed his own advice - for all of 28 hours. The next day he told of an "INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT IN PARIS," linking to this BBC follow-up. Allowing himself more than his customary and wearying "indeed," Reynolds, while admitting the situation had acquired some complexity, told readers that the "original story -- that a passerby saw weapons in the trunk -- seemed a bit odd" to him. Of course he failed to register his suspicions at the time. He is, after all, the "instapundit," not the hold-on-let-me-think-about-this-pundit. He wouldn't have let some irksome suspicions intrude upon his determination to fault Islam and its adherents as twisted.

The Professor spent the succeeding days filing from the "NO-SURPRISE-HERE DEPARTMENT," telling us that "Somebody needs to explain to [the assailant of a French Rabbi] that Islam is a religion of peace, and does not countenance such acts." Two days later he issued a "EURO-ISLAMOTERRORISM UPDATE," erring by not calling it Euro-Islamofascistterrorism, as per the killblogger style guide.

Serving as Charles Johnson's tag team partner must be tiring, especially when grappling with global terrorists and their anti-Semitic appeasers on the left. I therefore cannot blame The Professor for his failure of late to keep his eye on the story as he asked us all to. For my part, I remained faithful to Reynolds' call. So too did the BBC. I wonder about the other warbloggers.

Mader Blog, at the time of the first BBC report, was among the most sensible, asking aloud, "What's the story with the Algerians?" The Conjecturer posed a similar question.

The reliably obnoxious Shark Blog wasted next to no time and even less thought denouncing the "Religion-of-peacenik" arrested.

I hope The Greatest [sic] Jeneration was typing with tongue in cheek when she wrote "There may be more to this civilians TIPS program than we're giving it credit for!" I don't think the aptly named Feces Flinging Monkey was. It noted, "Somebody was paying attention, and that person saved hundreds of lives this weekend by having the faith to act upon a single suspicious act [perpetrated by "fuckwits"]. Good show." As GHR would say, "indeed."

As always, Bill Quick, who looks fantastic in white (he thoughtfully removed the hood when posing for this picture), lead the stupidity stakes by a most comfortable margin. He was "Sure Al-Qaeda Is Aware of it."

• • • • •


Saturday, January 11, 2003

 

Why Gen X Doesn’t Care that it Doesn’t Care About the War

"The "evil do-ers" seem to be caving. Go W! We watch these powerful looped images. Bombing. Refugee children. Destruction. And yet, we are distracted by the ticker tape at the bottom on the screen. The endless stream of information seems to provide us with a myriad of conversation. "Shit. Harry Potter made $31.3 million in its first day," I marvel, as a Red Cross warehouse is bombed. I sip my Amstel Light. "He looks really handsome in that gray shirt," we all concur. "Ohmigod. They found Walter’s football ring in a couch at Purdue! He must have fucked some sorority chick." We laugh as a small mountain village is bombed and entire families are wiped out. Eventually, we head out and proceed to have a big night where alcohol gives us guilt-free permission to ignore the world. So, why is this?"

• • • • •


Friday, January 10, 2003

 

The no longer necessary smoking gun that the administration had put on display, the "Tubes of Mass Destruction," seems to be something other than what Condi "the tubes...are only really suited for nuclear weapons programs" Rice and others said it was. Unconvincing arguments made months back seem even less convincing now, though it heartens us to see that the bigoted plagiarist Mark Steyn got it wrong yet again.

• • • • •


Thursday, January 09, 2003

 

Change "Corporate News" on the above image stolen from Amir Butler's excellent site to "warbloggers." Next read this piece from the Times, opening as follows:
DONALD RUMSFELD, the US Defence Secretary, has suggested that Washington may present little or no evidence of Iraq's quest for banned weapons even if President Bush decides to go to war.
Watch the killbloggers ape their unelected leaders and give up all attempts at justifying a war. A just war is even further out of the question.

Meanwhile, Glenn Harlan Reynolds comes within centimeters of equating "anti-Americanism" and anti-Semitism. We wonder if that applies retroactively, all the way back to those denouncing the Semitic Monroe Doctrine.

• • • • •


Wednesday, January 08, 2003

 

Kaus, splayed and flayed:
2. Kaus: "Even if interest rates go up a bit, their short-term depressive effect can presumably be countered by the stimulative effect of short-term tax cuts and spending."
2a. The centerpiece of Bush's proposal is a dividend tax cut that is (a) not stimulative and (b) not short-term. You don't have to be Paul Krugman to think this, although it clearly helps to know something about the rudiments of macroeconomics (or English, insofar as "permanent" and "short-term" are antonymous)
Via Jeff Hauser, who continues to pick fights.

Unrelated, mingers.com seems to have run out of storage space. Images are being warehoused here. Now I can feel Bill Quick's pain.

• • • • •


Sunday, January 05, 2003

 

Get that man a warblog!

From the January 3, 2003, Raines Times (God, that's infectuous):
"We will be facing considerable skepticism on the question of how we can justify confrontation with Saddam when he is letting inspectors into the country, and a diplomatic solution with Kim when he's just thrown them out," one senior diplomat acknowledged today. "And we're working on the answer."
So are these guys.

• • • • •


Saturday, January 04, 2003

 

Rod Dreher, nearly as sensitive to immoderate speech and nastiness as warblogger G. Harlan Reynolds, says that the problem with today's newspapers is a general insufficiency of nastiness. He says that "the men and women who run newsrooms are scared to death of offending approved victim groups," by which he of course means Muslims. It seems likely then that Dreher holds multiple subscriptions to the New York Sun, whose newsroom is run by persons suffering from no such fears.

• • • • •


Wednesday, January 01, 2003

 

Some of you have noticed and commented on the lack of posts here at Warblogger Watch. The reason is that I have been going through a crisis of late. First, some background.

I was raised as a liberal, my parents were liberals. As a child I idolized my liberal parents, and as I grew and began to develop a political consciouness I naturally gravitated towards liberal ideas. I can recall many a night as a teen staying up late at night in my bedroom, a Che Guevara poster on the wall, reading Chomsky and listening to NPR.

As my life progressed, and despite being mugged by a negro fellow, I still held onto my liberal values and beliefs such as the need for public schools and free health care, pro-choice on the abortion issue and anti-death on the execution issue, for government intervention to buttress the brutal Darwinism of unfettered markets and anti-war, oh so very anti-war.

Any spare moment that could be stolen I was engaged in liberal causes: organizing a labour union for my fellow law school professors, writing letters to the editor of the local newspaper explaining the horrors of animal testing, global climate change, guns, and Nike sweatshops and creating humorous paper-mache effigies of our leaders for anti-IMF/WTO protests.

Life was liberal, and life was good.

Then came 9/11, and more importantly, the blog phenomena.

Previous to 9/11 I surfed the internet, mostly to check out my favorite web pages (Counterpunch, Zmag, the Nation, World Socialist Web Site) and writers (Fisk, Pilger, Cockburn) and was vaguely aware of weblogs; I has stumbled across Glenn and Andrew the odd time, but their right-wing conservative viewpoints and opinions sullied my liberal sensibilities so much I often had to have a stiff drink of drambuie and watch a Michael Moore movie or read a Ted Rall cartoon to settle down. But after 9/11, with the increase of number and influence of the "warblogs", I began to check them out regularly to keep up on the enemy. I was puzzled and disturbed by their strange words and terminology (Fisking, idiotarian and rope-a-dope) and their hatred of all things arab and love of science fiction and each other.

I decided to create this blog to counteract the hegenomy of pro-war thinking in the blogosphere. There were some epic battles waged and many hours spent reading emails with titles like "fuk you stuped sand nigger lover."

But a month ago something changed. I don't know what caused it. Maybe it was the news that the "hermit kingdom" North Korea was threatening us with nuclear weapons made with plutonium from the nuclear reactor we had sold them. Maybe it was the news that our so-called ally, Saudi Arabian Princess Hafia, gave money to a friend of a friend of a friend of an acquaintance and that money might have made it to Al-Qaeda terrorists. Or maybe it was just the colloidal silver I hae been taking, but I began to question the liberal beliefs that have guided me all these years.

What if US military intervention was not done to secure energy supplies and transfer routes but to overthrow brutal dictators and bring the glorious light of democracy to the oppressed of the world?

What if the Palestinains were not oppressed but instead oppressing the Israelis? Maybe transfer was the only rational option after all, the only way to ensure that the glorious light of Zionism would continue to illuminate the dark barbarian hoards of the middle east.

And yesterday, it finally happened. After a fitful night of thrashing in bed, plauged by horrifying dreams of Bin Laden laughing and cooking up a batch of smallpox, I converted.

"Enough!" I yelled as I leapt out of bed. "Enough of the left with its overt anti-Americanism and covert anti-Semitism! Enough of being Saddam's useful idiot!" Dragging my considerable library of leftie books out to the fire pit behind the house I bought with the money from the "investing" I did in my spare time, I threw them in and lit them on fire, watching with delight as they burned, and ate a slice of pepperoni pizza.

So from now on, warbloggers, I'm on your side. Watch out arab world! Watch out Harold Raines, Ted Rall, Michael Moore, Robert Fisk and Jimmy Carter! Eric A. Blair is back!

And before I leave to join my brother and his Nigerian girlfriend to drink drambuie and discuss the latest Victor David Hanson tome, may you all have a great new year, one filled with prosperity, love and war.

Baghdad Delenda Est.!

- Eric A. Blair

• • • • •

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